The past two nights, I went to my local Catholic Youth Ministry's Lenten Mission. The first night was in a small unincorporated town called Bradford, which consists of about a dozen houses, a bar, and a large modern Catholic Church and cemetery. The second night was at Mt. St. Francis, a retreat center run by the Conventual Franciscan Friars. The leader was Jesse Manibusan, a well-known Catholic songwriter, speaker, and retreat leader. Jesse's message went along with today's scripture readings, which includes the calling of Levi, or St. Matthew, my patron saint, and who I am named after. The readings are about turning back to God, which was the main theme of Jesse's talk last night. Today seems as good a day as any to share my own success story of returning to God.
Like my patron saint, I came from a religious background, being raised in the Church. As I grew up, a combination of teenage rebellion and a bad priest led me to stop practicing my Catholic faith and even questioned God's existence. However, after several disturbing encounters with atheism among my peers, I concluded that I needed God in my life, lest I end up going down the dark path that my friends were exploring. I believed in God, but my faith was shaky. After a rough last two years of high school, I entered college and started attending various evangelical and Protestant churches, none of which satisfied me.
In 2011, on the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord, I was attending a Methodist service. During the service, the minister traced a cross in water on our foreheads. When it was my turn he said to me, "Matt, remember your Baptism, and be thankful."
It was in that moment that my thoughts went back to my Catholic Baptism and I knew that, like it or not, God was calling me back to the Catholic Church. The next Sunday, I said good-bye to my Methodist congregation and started attending Catholic Mass as often as possible. It was in this moment, like with St. Matthew, Jesus was saying, "Come, follow me."
Over the four years since I have returned to my Catholic Faith, my life has changed completely. Most of my friendships and relationships have come through the local Church. I've become healthier, less angry, and more conscientious in my decision making. And this is only the beginning. Who knows what the years down the road will bring?
To those who seek to find a purpose, an anchor in the storm, or an ideal to strive towards, please consider the Catholic Church. It has changed my life for the better, and I know that it can help you too if you give it a try. You have nothing to lose, but so much to gain. To those who are already Catholic, dig deeper. The more that you put in, the more you get out of Catholicism. God tells us through Isaiah the Prophet that if we turn back to Him, our gloom will be like the midday. Turn to God with all your heart. Learn your faith, understand your faith, and grow.
Growing up, I resented being named after St. Matthew. Now, I see him as a role model. Both of us were called back to God from our own ways, and both of us have had our lives transformed forever by Christ and his Church. Though I doubt I'll ever be canonized, and my blog will never be gospel, I can aspire to continue my lifelong conversion back to the Catholic Faith.
St. Matthew, ora pro nobis!
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